Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
