Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Randomize
