Where are you?
In a non slutty way
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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