you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
be right there i have to get my cape
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
