there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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