Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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