I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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