using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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