Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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