so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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