out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
