Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
