He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
dude. I can hear the air.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
