Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize