WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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