I think i sorta joined a cult last night
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
