dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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