If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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