matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
