I swear she didn't look like that last week.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize