and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
