you guys were way drunker than both of me
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize