Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
