Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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