So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
4 words: hood of his car
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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