did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
