Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Randomize