Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
