Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
my sisters under your porch take her home
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
