My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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