so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
