the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
