whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
