Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
