Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
