I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
