At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
