I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
