Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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