So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
