So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
