So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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