glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
