He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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