so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize