So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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