I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
