Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
