Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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