Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
