If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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