I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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