omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
