The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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