her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
