You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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