Pappa wants mamma naked
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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