Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
