The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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