and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
