Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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