I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
