so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
