I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
