i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
