Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
