I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
