He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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