i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
