What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
