didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
