I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize