I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
