ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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